March 27, 2003

Towel

The outfits worn by the waitresses resemble togas, except they’re nothing like the togas you imagine on Romans. For one thing they don’t even go halfway down the thigh. Plus, and this is the main thing, they’re just as skimpy on top – so skimpy they barely cover the waitresses’ breasts. The togas (one wonders how they do this) make the breasts protrude on top so that it seems like the breasts are about to spill right out of there.

Also there’s a man in the men’s room who hands you a towel. He has a pile of fluffy white towels and all he ever does is hand them to you. You come in and pee and then, just so no one thinks you don’t do this, you wash your hands. This is when he hands you the towel, the moment you’re finished rinsing.

Obviously he’s watching you, how else does he know when it’s time? Probably he has it down to where he doesn’t start watching until after you reach for the soap, or probably some later point such as when you start rubbing your hands together. Or maybe he never actually watches what you’re doing with your hands but instead looks for some subtle movement of your hip or shoulder that tells him it’s almost time.

On the wall next to him is a paper towel dispenser, but hardly anyone uses it because of how rude that would be. Probably most people would prefer the dispenser, but since the man with the towels is right there and since it’s obviously his job to be there, they play along and take the towel even if they think it’s ridiculous.

What a job, to hand people towels they don’t want and never asked for.

On the other hand, at least he gets to wear a half-decent jacket, while the waitresses are stuck wearing the least amount of clothing possible. This is because the waitresses are there to be looked at, in particular their breasts are, whereas the man in the men’s room is a kind of invisible person, so he’s wearing the sort of jacket that makes him as invisible as possible, right up to the moment when he suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere hands you a towel.