January 18, 2003


The alien is living with me now. I still don’t know her name. I’m not even sure that aliens have names. When I asked her about it, she told me to call her whatever I wanted, so I picked Sophia. I picked it because I’ve never known anyone named Sophia and don’t associate it with anyone.

We had burritos today for lunch. I ate mine too fast and got hiccups, so I stood and bent over and drank some water like that, with my head upside-down.

“What are you looking at?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I said, “I have the hiccups.” I was upside-down when I said this.

By her tone, it seemed that she really didn’t know what I was doing, although it’s possible she knew but wanted to make it seem she that didn’t so I would trust her more and treat her like I would treat any other woman.

This is the question: How much is she like other women? It comes down to whether she knows things that no woman, no person, could know. Can she read my mind? Can she call up my past? Nothing she does reveals she can, but I’m not convinced.

She has a laptop computer. When we’re not talking, she likes to sit on my bed and type what she calls her “notes.” She’s a fast typist but doesn’t always keep her fingers on the keys. Her main problem is the delete key, which she types with her right forefinger instead of her right pinky. This slows her down. When I mentioned it to her, she nodded, but I haven’t seen her trying to change. This seems suspicious because I imagine that an alien could type any way she pleased and would choose to type the most efficient way possible.

Here’s the thing: I suspect that everything she does is to get me to treat her as I would treat any run-of-the-mill woman who happened to be sitting on my bed drinking herbal tea (she likes Wild Sweet Orange) and typing a tremendous volume of “notes.” And I find myself falling for it. If someone or something looks like a woman, smells like a woman (!), and acts like a woman, you can’t help but think of that person or thing as a woman. And I think she’s banking on this, and on the fact that I will react to her as any man would, which to this point I have resisted doing, although it hasn’t been easy.