March 11, 2003

Recording

I shouldn’t let myself lie down like this. When I lie down I drift off to sleep. I tell myself I won’t but I do. This moment of telling myself I won’t is interesting. It’s interesting because I know I’m lying, because I’m not fooled, because I’m only saying I won’t so I’ll let myself lie down.

This tape is going to be weird because I can’t remember what I said. I keep drifting into these little dreams. I feel as though I’ve recorded the dreams but of course I haven’t. I must be depressed. I’m drifting off to sleep because I’m depressed, because my life or something is depressing me.