July 13, 2001

Kama Sutra

Recently I’ve been thinking about the fact that most dead people had sex at some point. I mean before they died. This follows from the fact that dead people were once people with lives more or less like my own.

Except that they never, unless having died very recently, used the Internet. Nor spoke on a cell phone. Nor [fill in any number of things that I do all the time and never once think about and basically can’t imagine not doing, although I only relatively recently started doing them].

But what I want to know is whether my life is fundamentally different from the life of my great-great-grandfather. And the answer, of course, is that it depends on what one means by fundamentally.

This being true, there are certain things we undoubtedly share. Such as sex. But there is sex and there is sex. Inspired in part by lego porn, I’ve been wondering what kind of sex people had a hundred years ago. Or a thousand. Short and brutish, perhaps?

Well, to say that, I’m forgetting the Kama Sutra. Not that my great-great-grandfather, a 19th century Ukrainian peasant, ever read the Kama Sutra. This seems an obvious difference between us: I’ve read the Kama Sutra.

Kama Sutra position

Or rather, I’ve skimmed it.

Well, I’ve looked at the drawings.

Just back from reading the Kama Sutra. It’s great. Every position has a clever name: Clinging Creeper, Mare’s Trick, Sucking a Mango. Plus there are funny bits:

Your wife grips your neck
and locks her legs around your waist:
this is Kirti (Fame) …
Never try it with heavy girls.