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Tagline | Sep 22 2005

This morning, over oatmeal, K and I brainstormed impossible and offensive taglines. It began with the brown sugar. The current Domino tagline reads “We’ll always be your sugar.” I suggested they change this, at least for the brown sugar, to “How come you taste so good?” but K convinced me it would be better as “Just like a black girl should.”

Picture it. “Domino Brown Sugar: Just like a black girl should.” All hell would break loose.

The back story is that Domino, a family-run business, is inherited by a lunatic. All but one of the top executives quit after they hear what he wants printed on the brown sugar boxes. The one remaining executive, desperate to prove how insane the idea is, conducts a secret focus group in which consumers are asked to choose between the old and new taglines. No one selects “Just like a black girl should,” and several participants storm out in disgust, leaving behind their coupons for a free case of Domino brown sugar. None of this sways the lunatic, however, and the boxes are printed.

At this point, K and I got bored of brown sugar and switched to bananas. It only took me a minute to come up with the winning tagline, but before I reveal what it is, you have to promise to imagine a world in which this phrase appears on a little sticker affixed to every banana you buy.

Did you just promise? Thank you. The sticker says “Happy to See You.”