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Girls I Never Kissed—Debbie | Sep 18 2005

A friend told me on the sly that a girl we both knew, Debbie, was claiming that she and I had made out at Penny Sue Gold’s party. This was a lie. I hadn’t said three words to Debbie and certainly hadn’t kissed her.

I didn’t know what to do. On the one hand I wanted justice, I wanted the truth known by everyone in our circle of friends: I hasn’t kissed Debbie and wouldn’t have kissed Debbie because… well, because Debbie was tall and awkward and not very pretty (all of which everyone already knew of course, but those were the reasons). On the other hand, I had no desire to humiliate Debbie, who was a sweet girl and who after all had chosen me among all boys in our circle for the lie—a fact that hadn’t escaped my notice.

Looking back, Debbie’s lie may have been less flattering than I assumed. After all, had she claimed to have made out with, say, the hunky Mark Goodman, her friends would have laughed at her. I was a believable choice. Or maybe the lie was genuine, maybe Debbie liked me and chose me for that reason. It’s even possible she told the lie knowing I would hear about it, or least hoping I would.

I’ll never know which of these possibilities was true because I never spoke about it with Debbie, or with anyone for that matter. Instead I moved away, for unrelated reasons, and the problem disappeared.