Oblivio: Stories and such by Michael Barrish

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Circling Chicago | Feb 23 2005

I just finished reading Idiom Savant: Slang as it is Slung by Jeffrey Dunn. It wasn’t a very good book. Dunn fooled me by putting the best section (by far) first. There should be an expression for this, one that means: front-loading the really good stuff. It could be applied in various contexts, including romantic relationships (“watch out for her; she’s a front-loader”).

The section I liked covered the slang of nurses, doctors, and hospital staff. In a footnote on the first page, an anonymous nurse apologies, saying that the callousness of the expressions are “a defense mechanism that protects us from being overwhelmed by a sea of pain and suffering.” This hooked me: a sea of pain and suffering would likely inspire transgressive slang. I wasn’t disappointed.

Here are a few favorites:

• bury the hatchet v. to sew up a patient with a surgical instrument mistakenly left inside.
• circling the drain adj. close to death, lingering.
• cut and paste v. to surgically open a patient, find that there is no hope for treatment, and sew him up again without delay.
• gone camping adj. in an oxygen tent.
• loose change n. a nearly severed limb that will require amputation.
• waiting for the train to Chicago v. close to death, in spite of the best medical efforts. “He has his bags packed and is waiting for the train to Chicago.”

That last one raised questions. Why Chicago? Also, what city do Chicago nurses say instead of Chicago?

Later I realized that this expression could be combined with circling the drain to create the hybrid Circling Chicago. I decided that Circling Chicago would not only mean approaching death but would serve as a handy euphemism for foreplay.

You can’t imagine how happy this made me.