Oblivio: Stories and such by Michael Barrish

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String | Jul 29 2003

Almost forgot to mention this. Remember when some guy used the Oblivio search function to dis me? Well, the following week someone else used the same technique to not only praise me but dis my dis-er. Here are the ten top search strings from that week:

• 7,290 for “fuck him you rock”
• 51 for “hi mike”
• 30 for “love letter”
• 25 for “eh guy s a fuckwad don t sweat”
• 25 for “i love you mike”
• 24 for “your site rocks”
• 22 for “you are so cool”
• 19 for “dont listen to them”
• 15 for “cheer up i like your site”

Yes, fuck him you rock was searched on 7,290 times that week. One assumes—prays, really—that the operation was automated.

Also, I lied: only nine results are listed above. I left out the fourth in the list. The fourth was the best. The fourth is the phrase I want used if I ever appear in a documentary and some identifying text is shown at the bottom of the screen. It is the phrase that belongs, had I the courage, at the top of my business card and resume; the phrase that describes my best self better than any phrase ever (not that so many have tried) while using a mere five words, two of which are actually the same word and none of which is longer that five letters (the average is 3.8):

dear man weird but dear