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Dressing Room | May 17 2003

On a personal note, I just launched a new fancypants, all-CSS, all-XHTML version of my business site, Blue Archer Media.

I suffered greatly for this. I am a lunatic and I am my own worst client. If I were hired by me, I would quit long before I had a chance to fire myself. Then I would bitch about myself to friends.

Want to know what I hate more than anything? It’s writing promotional copy. After writing three words of promotional copy, I begin to sob. Then the woman down the hall, the tall punky-looking woman who listens to industrial music and has a dog, comes knocking on my door and I have to tell her that I’m just writing promotional copy.

“It sounded serious this time,” she says.

“I know,” I say, “but it’s just promotional copy.”

What I wouldn’t give to be able to just put something like this on Blue Archer, in giant letters:

HIRE ME. I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING. I AM NOT A JERK. I WILL LISTEN TO YOU AND I WILL PROBABLY TALK YOU OUT OF THREE BAD IDEAS. I WILL MAKE JOKES. WHEN THE BILL COMES, YOU WILL FEEL LIKE YOU GOT A GREAT DEAL.

Okay, just to see what that feels like, to try it on as one might try on clothes one can’t possibly afford, I just made the page with giant letters. Here it is. Dig the photo of the future lunatic.