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Stan | Dec 25 2002

I swear this is true.

A man calls his son.

FATHER: Stan, this is your father.

SON: Hi, dad.

FATHER: Stan, I’m sending some work your way.

SON: Hey, thanks, dad.

An hour later the man calls his son again.

FATHER: Stan, this is Stan.

SON: Hi, dad.

FATHER: Son, I’m sending some work your way.

SON: Yeah, dad, you mentioned that. Thanks.

An hour later the man calls his son a third time.

FATHER: Stan, I’m sending some work your way.

SON (annoyed): Dad, this is third time you called to tell me this.

FATHER (pissed): You know, you’re an asshole, you know that?

Two weeks later the man calls his son again. The son’s answering machine picks up.

FATHER: Son, this is your father. I just want you to know I’m sorry I called you an asshole. You’re my son and I love you. Please forgive me.

After hanging up, the man turns to his wife and says, “You know, he really is an asshole.” His wife replies, “Actually, you’re both assholes.” Then the phone makes a funny sound and they look at it. It isn’t lined up on the cradle right, and everything they just said was recorded on their son’s answering machine.

Glad tidings and so forth.