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Phone | Dec 04 2002

Paul: Are you drunk?

Liz: Let’s see. I had two martinis, a glass of wine, and a single malt.

Paul: I would say you’re drunk.

Liz: I would say there’s a blood alcohol level above what is legal to drive.

Paul: Yeah.

Liz: Yeah.

Paul: I’m high.

Liz: Good, okay, we’re great now. So, um, can we talk about how much I want to fuck you?

[Laughter]

Liz: Never mind, I’m just kidding.

Paul: This is first time I ever wanted to say to you that you’re making me feel like I’m dying.

Liz: Do you have any idea of what I would do to you if I was there? You really don’t know. You don’t have any fucking idea.

Paul: You know, seriously, I hope that’s not true. Because if that’s true, if I really had absolutely no idea…

Liz: No, you really don’t have any idea. You know what? Frankly, here’s my frank opinion. You really don’t understand. You don’t understand. I really don’t think you understand.

Paul: The funny thing is, I don’t think that you understand either.

Liz: Understand what? What don’t I understand?

Paul: More or less the same thing.

Liz: Oh, whatever.

Paul: Can we bookmark this moment? Because what’s the actual question? “Who understands?” “Who understood?”

Liz: You don’t get it.

Paul: Yeah, “who got it.” Will you promise me something?

Liz: What?

Paul: That when we return to this moment you’ll tell the truth.

Liz: That I’ll tell the truth?

Paul: We’re gonna go back…

Liz: Later?

Paul: Yeah, at some point we’re gonna turn back to this conversation and we’re gonna try to figure out…

Liz: You know what, if I don’t tell the truth with you then I might as well kill myself. Don’t you feel that?

Paul: Yes.

Liz: If I can’t tell the truth with you, then I need to just take 400 sleeping pills like, now. You know what I mean?

Paul: Yes. I know.

Liz: Because then who the fuck is it if it’s not you?

Paul: Yeah, who is it if it’s not you.

[Pause.]

Paul: It’s you.

Liz: I know.

Paul: So, uh… Ali, you were with Ali. I’m making talk.

Liz: I know you’re making talk. You’re good at talk making. Good at making up talk.

Paul: So you were with Ali.

Liz: With Ali. I was so fucking late. I left her sitting from 7:00 to like 7:45, or whenever the fuck it was that I got there.

Paul: Why?

Liz: Oh, because, I don’t know. Because what was I doing? What the fuck was I doing? I was really late and I felt bad.

Paul: Wait. How late were you?

Liz: Well, I was already late.

Paul: Well, obviously.

Liz: And then there were two things. I was obsessed with this man in New York. That I want to fuck. And I called him. And… oh, I’m sorry. Whom I want to fuck.

[Laughter.]

Paul: Is that right?

Liz: You can’t use that or which for a human being.

Liz: Whom I wish to fuck. Yes.