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Ad | Nov 21 2002

Years back a friend tried to put an personal ad in the Boston Phoenix but was refused. Her ad read: I want to eat your brains. The jerks there told her it had to sound more like a date, so she changed it to: I want to eat your brains and then see a movie or something. This one they accepted.

Months later I submitted my own ad, and they refused me as well, I wish I could remember why. Was it because there weren’t enough words? Probably it was. In order for the Boston Phoenix to accept your ad, you had to make it sound like a date and you had to use more than two words. Anyway I fixed their wagon by never again reading their lame-ass publication—a fact that sent shock waves through the company, though no one could quite tell what these shock waves were about.

As to my ad, it simply said (yes, this is whole thing, and yes, I realize how incredibly sexy this is): Minimalist seeks.