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Change | Mar 10 2002

I don’t read archives. It doesn’t matter whose. Like right now I love whygodwhy. Found it through Fireland several months back. Everything he writes I’d totally never think of. Or if I did, I’d never write it that way. And there’s all this sadness and pain everywhere, but turned inside out.

Still, I refuse to read his archives. I check the site every day, hoping to find something new, but never read the archives. Instead I re-read the current piece, even if I’ve read it five or six times already.

Sometimes it seems like he’s changed a few words here or there, but I know it’s not true: if you stare at something long enough, it appears to change. And in a sense, it does change, because you change the way you see it. But the thing itself, to the extend that there is such a thing—I mean, outside of one’s experience of it—that never changes.

That last thought has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t read archives.